Up My Own Ass

There was a 2-car pileup on the Jefferson Expressway early this morning, police report. Apparently the two drivers were getting off of long shifts at the factory and were unable to stay awake at the wheel.

When paramedics found the two drivers they both seemed to be “sleeping peacefully” with no obvious injuries. Upon further investigation it seems the driver of the 18-wheeler, identified as Ima Orange, has had a driving record littered with previous driving infractions as proven by this picture taken by a passer-by the previous year on their cellphone:

It seems Ima has a history of risky behavior and police took him into custody.

After being held at the police station for 4hrs, for questioning, Ima was picked up by his wife, who shares a similar record of risky driving, pictured below:

With the growing concerns over sleepy drivers causing problems we encourage you to try and stay safe out there… and have a Happy Memorial Day!