Up My Own Ass

You have GOT to see the new phone they’re cooking up. It’s the most innovative, amazing, awe-inspiring, god-like thing to descend to the earth since…like…good ol’ homecookin. It does everything. Rumor has it that it will even shit for you. I have to get one.

Go check it out and take the whole tour, it’s worth it. Then pass it on to your friends. Especially the ones who have to have every new thing to hit the market. Watch them go wait in line for it.