Author Archives | C.J.
C.J. - who has written 6 posts on Up My Own Ass.
It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to say, "Two and a Half Men is actually pretty funny."
Oh, I’m Thankful
Well children, it’s that time of the year where you sit at a long banquet table with relatives you know about as well as the guy who washed your windshield at the Chevron last Tuesday and you spout contrived, cliche’ bullshit about what it is you are supposed to be thankful for. Great!!!
In the spirit of the season I thought I would give [...]
Dying on a Budget?
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Hey Mom, guess what I got you for Christmas this year? I know its a little bulky, but one day you’ll be glad you have it.
Oh yes, folks. Everything you want, need, can think of plus the exact opposite of all of those things is now available at Costco.
From presents for your grandparents for the holidays to [...]
Boo-Ray for Tampa
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
So, the Tampa Bay Rays are in the World Series playing the Philadelphia Phillies.
The stars and planets have aligned perfectly as Cinderella lifts her skirt and gives Prince Charming the go-ahead wink… and this Red Sox fan is sick to his stomach.
This morning I passed a store on the way to work called “Upton Repairs”. My heart sank [...]
The Bucket-Sex List
Thursday, October 2, 2008
So, the other day I am sitting at home watching a movie with my fiance (yes, there is someone who would actually agree to marry me) when the ultimate question was asked.
No, its not the “M” word… did you not read fiance above? The marriage question has already come and gone.
What she inquired about was “the list”. That little [...]
‘Fringe’ Benefits
Saturday, September 20, 2008
For the last few years (and I don’t think I am alone here) the programs on network television have been absolute shite. Okay, calm down… I know there is some loser out there who is screaming bloody murder because they live and die by Grey’s Anatomy or Big Brother.
Speaking of reality shows, I watch television to escape from reality, not to watch some schmucks concept [...]
Experiencing the Anti-Customer Policies at Best Buy
Monday, September 15, 2008
I hope this image becomes ingrained in your mind. Focus on it. This is the first thing that I want you to think about whenever you hear, are reminded of, or even see the words “best” and “buy” crammed together in big black letters with a yellow backdrop. Time and time again Best Buy finds [...]
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Tuesday, November 25, 2008
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