Author Archives | G

G - who has written 62 posts on Up My Own Ass.


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Great videos to annoy people with…for LIFE.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

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You will never. Ever. EVER. Hear the words “badger” or “mushroom” and not think of this from now on. You’re welcome.
Likewise, this is an EXCELLENT video to show all your friends so that forevermore “ring ring ring ring ring” will mean something special to you. Pretty special, dude…pretty fuckin special…
And if you are [...]

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So, if God Kills a Puppy Every Time I Mastricate…

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

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… what happens when puppies do it?

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Honey, Can We Get a Pet?

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

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I was out browsing the local pet store the other day and while the flipping ferrets and rascally rodents were cute, I have to say it was the African Rock Python that really stole my heart. I bought it and brought it home to play with the kids and my puppy and while they played [...]

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Failing the eHarmony Application for Love

Thursday, April 16, 2009

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Come on, the fella should get points for honesty, no?

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Internet video CLASSICS

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

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If you haven’t seen this before, watched it a million times since then, shown every new friend you make and every old friend you get together with, know the meaning of “fucking kangaroos” or “but I am le tired”, or incorporated “WTF, Mate!?” and “hokay” into your daily and I mean DAILY lingo…YOU my friend, [...]

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Introducing….FOAMY!!!

Monday, February 16, 2009

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It’s a constant search in life to scour the internet for the greatest ways to abuse your job’s timeclock and keep your sanity while losing those moments in life that somehow evolve from “just checking your email” before you go out and see the light of day, to “dammit is that the light of the [...]

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Friends, beer, touchdowns and – PORN BEING BROADCAST IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SUPERBOWL!? What more could you ask for??!

Monday, February 2, 2009

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DAMN YOU, COX CABLE!!! Why do COMCAST customers get all the fun? Me, all I get is this plain old, boring, reliable uninterrupted programming. Like, after the mind-blowing Cardinals this-will-save-the-game-hallelujah-it’s-our-first-time-here-and-we-WON play that wasn’t, bastard Steelers, on my COX viewing of the game, in a cruel twist of irony, all I got to see was [...]

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Dammit Fido…

Friday, January 30, 2009

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If a mouse can do THIS, why the HELL can’ t I get you to even SIT when I tell you to!??

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Cupcakes! No Cupcake!? “Stains” Goes to his Happy Place

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

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I know how you feel, buddy. I go into a catatonic state when I’m deprived of cupcakes too.

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Sex Does Not Get Any Safer Than This

Saturday, January 24, 2009

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…or any funnier. Check it out, this is awesome.

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Under the “Damn Why Didn’t I Think of That?!” Category…

Saturday, January 24, 2009

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People simply never cease to amaze me. I mean, they really don’t. They are mind-blowingly…um…creative? Resourceful? And they sure do cover their bases!
So earlier this month apparently a couple woke up (a handsome, charming couple – please see endearing image below)

and rose early one Saturday to engage in the good ol’ American tradition of the [...]

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Smacked Down by The Bebo Screenname Gatekeeper

Thursday, January 22, 2009

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He said “Bitch”.
Have you ever tried to look up a reasonable answer to a reasonable question online? Especially in instances where time is of the essence, like say when ohhhh I don’t know, your ROOMMATE SEWS HER FINGER WITH THE SEWING MACHINE, or the BOYFRIEND MELTS HIS HAND TO THE OVEN BURNER (true stories). This [...]

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