Up My Own Ass
Because Nothing Says Emotions Like Pictures of Cute Animals
If you’re like me, sometimes you find yourself in trouble with the significant other, or pissed off at the significant other, or personally wounded by the significant other, in which case nothing says “You should feel bad for hurting my feelings and buy me a yummy snacky treat and rub my feet” like a Sad [...]
Continue reading...In Case You Were Sleeping Through 2008…
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Here’s the year in a nutshell for you:
Continue reading...This is Why We Listen to House
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
He’s not really a doctor, he just plays one on TV… or so I THOUGHT! But Dr. House is my new doctor. They said you can get worms in your brain on the last episode I watched, just from eating undercooked bad pork. I thought it was artistic shitty same-plotline-every-episode shenanigans to keep things interesting, but [...]
Continue reading...For Some Work Day Entertainment at the Expense of Other Unfortunate Motorists…
Thursday, December 18, 2008
This just makes me giggle and giggle. Check out these cars trying to make it up an icy hill on this time-lapse video. Yay for living in Arizona and not having to deal with this crap!
Continue reading...Where Do Crescent Rolls Come From?
Sunday, December 7, 2008
I know that when I pop one of these doughy masterpieces into my mouth forevermore I won’t be able to think of anything but this. So I hope that, for the rest of your life, you will always be haunted by this image too. And make sure everyone at your table does as well.
Continue reading...Visiting Mom in Small-Town Idaho, Part 3 of 3: Lasting Impressions - They Hit You Like a Goat in the Back Door
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
If you’ve forgotten, or were just sleeping through, Part 1 and Part 2 of my visit to my dear mother in Bordertown, Idaho, you may or may not have realized or cared that those were but two installments of what was to be a trilogy. If you didn’t make the connection, that’s ok, I was never [...]
Continue reading...Happy Thanksgiving From Your Local LOLcat…
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Editor’s Note: I forgot to post this on Thanksgiving… I suck, but it’s too cute not to post. Update #1: And this just for the road:
Continue reading...Perspective, people. Perspective.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
We all know that people are insane. We also know that they are stupid. But this, this is just pathetic. A Wal-Mart temporary employee was trampled - TRAMPLED, as in KILLED - by people who BROKE DOWN THE DOORS minutes before the 5am Black Friday opening. He was only 34. From the International Herald Tribune: At 4:55 a.m., [...]
Continue reading...Panda BEAR… Dumbass….
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Any story that starts out like this is going to be awesome: BEIJING (AP) — A college student in southern China was bitten by a panda after he broke into the bear’s enclosure hoping to get a hug, state media and a park employee said Saturday. Don’t fall for their wily woman panda ways! Or you’ll end [...]
Continue reading...Just When You Thought Life Couldn’t Get Any Weirder…
Friday, November 28, 2008
You become a tree. So apparently this guy in Indonesia got a cut on his knee when he was 15 and a wart appeared and then the shit storm broke loose all over his leg and spread throughout his body, hijacking his cells and demanding “One MILLION DOLLARS” while cruising around in a Bob’s Big Boy [...]
Continue reading...We need cute, STAT!!
Thursday, November 27, 2008
It has been brought to our attention that our “Cute” section is big on quality but short on quantity so in the ensuing weeks our cuteness gnomes will be running full speed to bring to you, dear reader, the adorable quota your life requires. Times are tough. We understand that. But kitties and puppies, they are [...]
Continue reading...Boy… and We Thought Schools Were Strict in Our Day
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
My friends and I used to get a kick out of passing notes, throwing spitballs, and crafting masterful paper airplanes to sail at the back of the teacher’s head. Worst case scenario, we missed a recess if we got caught, but it was oh so worthwhile. In the age of school shootings and stabbings and drug [...]
Continue reading...If You are Going to Harass Your Crazy Mom in the Kitchen This Year…
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
… be sure to videotape her psychotic abuse and post it on YouTube for the world to see your dysfunctional family. Mom in the kitchen baking holiday cookies and beating her children reminds me of those times when I’m out at the zoo on a beautiful day and the parents have taken the family out for [...]
Continue reading...Competency. Try it.
Friday, November 21, 2008
It’s Friday, thank god. As anyone who has ever worked a phone job can attest to, that amazing invention with the buttons and the dial tone attracts some total nutjobs that grace one’s daily life on this end of the telephone cord with some truly awesome glimpses at humanity at its finest. For example, the woman who [...]
Continue reading...It’s Ninja Day!!!
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Ok, not really. But I found this video and HAD to make up a reason to share it. And in the spirit of it being (kind of) Ninja Day… here’s more Ninja cowbell for you. Ninjas. One of God’s greatest creations. There’s one watching you right now.
Continue reading...Ok I’ve Heard of Desperate, but…
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Really? I mean, match.com or www.meetyourfreakloveronline.com or whatever is one thing. And I know that people can get frustrated with the bar scene. But who REALLY looks to people in the prison system for love!?? I was searching around for something on the internet yesterday, probably something like fluffy bunnies and pretty puppies, the way some of [...]
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Sunday, January 4, 2009
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