Up My Own Ass
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82-year-old Hugh Hefner’s Heart Broken by GF Who’s, Like, “OMG what?? We won’t have kids!?”
I love the news. I really LOVE the news: 7-year-old gets stuck in stuffed animal game machine SHEBOYGAN (AP) — A 7-year-old boy had to be rescued with the help of a locksmith Saturday after crawling into a supermarket’s stuffed animal game machine while his father talked on the telephone. Man Arrested After Reporting Pot Theft McALLEN, Texas [...]
Continue reading...Bill Maher Proves Non-Existence of God
7. October 2008
In smarmy pseudo-comedian Bill Maher’s new rockumentary with a title no one should even try to pronounce, the star of such films as Pizza Man and Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death finally has the proof that intellectual douchebags have been looking for for years that there is indeed no God. Maher and director [...]
Continue reading...Sarah Palin Look-a-Like Needed for… Adult Film
1. October 2008
Dave Bullock is on a roll today, sending in this little tid-bit of awesome from L.A.’s Craigslist. Looks like someone in the adult industry is looking for a Sarah Palin look-a-like to shoot a movie in the next 10 days… for $3k… guess who just found his Tina Fey glasses, put on his sluttiest dress [...]
Continue reading...Sox Fans Say “Hell, no!” to DiMaggio
30. September 2008
On a rainy weekend, possibly just weeks, perhaps days before his death, the Boston Red Sox finally decided to retire Johnny Pesky’s number. Ole Numero Six was a member of the organization off and on, in one way or another, for about 150 years. The team even named a foul pole in Fenway Park [...]
Continue reading...1-2-3-4! Let’s start a race war!
16. September 2008
If he doesn’t just sit around his cell all day singing “Garbage Dump” and he actually reads a newspaper now and then, Charles Manson could very well be laughing his swastika-carved ass off right now. For “Helter Skelter,” ole crazy’s 1969 vision of a Revelations-like war between black and white America, just might come into [...]
Continue reading...Ocho Stinko!
10. September 2008
The biggest story entering the 2008 NFL season has been Brett Favre being a big pain is the ass with his, “I’m retiring. No I’m not,” business in Green Bay. Now the crybaby is with the Jets, like stars Joe Namath and Riff from West Side Story before him. Great. Good luck, stupid. Here’s hoping [...]
Continue reading...Que Sarah Sarah
6. September 2008
Generally speaking, I don’t spend a whole lot of time waxing political. I think the subject is boring and I would rather talk about lip gloss. That being said, what the hell is with this Sarah Palin trick? Seriously, she is being touted as a maverick that’s going to bring a little spice to the McCain [...]
Continue reading...McCain Picks Broad; Conservatives Rejoice!
4. September 2008
Senator John McCain, the gruff Republican presidential hopeful, Vietnam veteran, and maker of delicious food products such as Pizza Pockets and many great frozen potato-based snacks, finally chose his running mate on Friday. And it is Alaska governor Sarah Palin, believed to be a cousin or perhaps niece of Monty Python funnyman Michael Palin. And [...]
Continue reading...Why? Why? Why?
3. September 2008
Why won’t *Nsync get back together? I love *Nsync. Notice that I didn’t say, “I LOVED *Nsync.” I realize that is a bold admission from someone wishing to be taken seriously…well…at ALL, but hear me out. When *Nsync was on top of their game, cranking out their wonderfully gooey brand of soft-core pop ejaculate, I was missing [...]
Continue reading...Are T.A.P.S. and The Ghost Hunters full of S.H.I.T?
30. August 2008
Yes. Okay, so here’s the deal…I watch pretty much every television show pertaining to the paranormal that comes around the bend, due to my greater than average interest in the field (and my addiction to anything passing itself off as “reality” TV). In fact, I might even go as far as saying that I am an [...]
Continue reading...The 3,000 Hit Club Conspiracy
29. August 2008
The 3,000 Hit and 500 Home Run Clubs in Major League Baseball used to be pretty darn exclusive. But something happened. The old Veterans Committee, or the mob, whoever keeps tabs on baseball, have lost their collective touch. They’ll let just about anyone make it there now. You used to have some great players call [...]
Continue reading...Harry Potter Delays His Climax
18. August 2008
The box-office darlings have made a life-altering, earth-shattering, we’re-sorry-there-will-be-no-second-coming-of-the-messiah-after-all and by-the-way-there-is-no-Santa-Clause crushing announcement that has sent thousands running to petitionspot.com to cry to the producers about how it’s not fair, and how they’re just in it for the money (what is this, Hollywood or something?), and various other “Please Harry put on your clothes and [...]
Continue reading...A View of the Hills
18. August 2008
I have a confession to make. I watch The Hills. I have no good explanation for this, but – it is what it is. I have made a number of observations about the show and its delightful mélange of characters, and I would like to share them now with the whole world: What the fuck is [...]
Continue reading...Selma Blair’s Bedroom Eyes Made me Flacid
18. August 2008
I like to help people when I can… no scratch that… I like to help humanity when I can, which is always. That’s the way I roll. Given that (and my ripped abs), when you think of the phrase “bedroom eyes”, like “Jennifer is giving me her bedroom eyes”, do you think of a sultry sexy look, [...]
Continue reading...Michael Phelps to Walk on Water in One More Olympic Race
17. August 2008
Winner of about a cajillion gold medals, Olympic doggy paddler Michael Phelps has gone from the new Hannah Montana to the greatest athlete ever to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ Himself, as he has announced that he will actually walk on water during his last race in the summer Olympics. Phelps, who denies any relation [...]
Continue reading...Playboy Blah Blah Dasha Astafieva Blah Blah BOOBS
15. August 2008
Extrawhoredinary had a great post about an up-and-coming model Dasha Astafieva that apparently Hugh Hefner (creator of Playboy) has taken quite a liking to. The fact that Dasha looks nothing like any of the other 50%-fake-and-blond mascots that Hefner usually surrounds himself with makes me think he’s a changed man… “changed” in the sense that I [...]
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Tech News, Gaming, Gadgets & Reviews
- Working Around Gmail Contact Importing: Oops. An unknown error occured while importing your contacts.
- Controlling the Future of Gaming and Entertainment Starts with Game Consoles
- Grand Theft Auto IV DLC Announced… and No One Cares
- Mirror’s Edge on the PC Gets NVIDIA PhysX Material Enhancements
- Why Halo 3’s Loads Slower With The New Xbox Experience
- Street Fighter HD confirmed for Realease This Month
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10. October 2008
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