Up My Own Ass

Que Sarah Sarah

Generally speaking, I don’t spend a whole lot of time waxing political.  I think the subject is boring and I would rather talk about lip gloss.  That being said, what the hell is with this Sarah Palin trick? Seriously, she is being touted as a maverick that’s going to bring a little spice to the McCain [...]

Struggles with Craigslist

You ever tried to sell something on Craigslist and ended up getting an endless stream of questions, stories, trade suggestions, etc. and all you want to do is sell the damn thing? That’s what happened to this guy tried to get rid of some cinder blocks… I think you can tell he’s had his fair [...]

Jedi Mind Tricks 101: You Will Give Me a Free Cruise…

I am a cruise travel agent. I spend all day every day telling people to go on cruises, and which ones to go on. As such, I am a pretty darn valuable asset to a cruise line. I’m also the type of person that if I’m not happy, you’re not happy (aka Only Child). In high [...]

McCain Picks Broad; Conservatives Rejoice!

Senator John McCain, the gruff Republican presidential hopeful, Vietnam veteran, and maker of delicious food products such as Pizza Pockets and many great frozen potato-based snacks, finally chose his running mate on Friday. And it is Alaska governor Sarah Palin, believed to be a cousin or perhaps niece of Monty Python funnyman Michael Palin. And [...]

Liquid Gold

A few things to consider on this fine day in this amazing economic state we’re in nowadays… Retirement plans compared… If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00. With Enron, you would have $16.50 left of the original $1000. With WorldCom, you would have less than $5.00 left. If you had [...]

Let’s Make a List

I’m tired of lists. Everywhere you go there’s another frigging list. Every Web site you visit. Every stupid magazine you pick up. Hey, here are the Top Ten Venereal Diseases! Come see our list of the Top 25 Abortions Ever Performed! Even on television, VH1 has them all the time, TV Guide and TV Land [...]

Maury Povich Guest Angel, 9th Grader Out of Control

If you were around when the Jerry Springer craze dropped in the mid-90s and are familiar with trash televisions, then you have probably seen one of the Maury Povich episodes where he would have on insanely young girls that have sex, do drugs, swear every other word and usually hate their parents to some insane [...]

Are T.A.P.S. and The Ghost Hunters full of S.H.I.T?

Yes. Okay, so here’s the deal…I watch pretty much every television show pertaining to the paranormal that comes around the bend, due to my greater than average interest in the field (and my addiction to anything passing itself off as “reality” TV).  In fact, I might even go as far as saying that I am an [...]

The 3,000 Hit Club Conspiracy

The 3,000 Hit and 500 Home Run Clubs in Major League Baseball used to be pretty darn exclusive. But something happened. The old Veterans Committee, or the mob, whoever keeps tabs on baseball, have lost their collective touch. They’ll let just about anyone make it there now. You used to have some great players call [...]

A Little Dose of LOL for the Weekend

We know you had a long week… that’s why we are here to make it seem shorter… or if you hate us, it will seem longer, but no one hates adorable animal pictures, so here you go:

Quick Reference: Things to Say During Sex

Incase you find yourself out of ideas in the bedroom, or out of ways to get your partner to call the police on you, Marc Chung just sent in a quick reference that we can print out and leave next to the bed: (Click for a bigger version)

“…But it’s a DRY heat!”

I’d like to know what Einstein came up with the idea of tubing through the Arizona desert in the middle of August. I mean, who says, “Hey! It’s 124 degrees outside, we have no trees so we have no shade…I know! Let’s go get some black rubber inner tubes, dehydrate our bodies further with as [...]

Are You a Badass Mofo (BAMF)?

I was reading through the internet (I do that from time to time… read the internet, it’s like what Neo could do in the Matrix) and ran across this post by Benjamin Smith. Apparently Ben likes to rock climb, for fun. Looking through some of his Flickr shots I have to assume that he likes to [...]

Clitter - Turning Your Dumpy Old Pants-Friend into a Rockstar!

That 50s Diner Feel

I despise cigarette smoke. Unless I’m at a casino. Then it just feels right. Breathing that shit in. Mmm. Where’s that 70-year-old cocktail lady with my Scotch? If a gambler sits next to me at the slots with a Lucky Strike or a Chesterfield lit up, I turn to him or her and say, “Welcome, stranger. [...]

Are You Having a Bad Day?

So is this guy… so is this guy. Thanks Flickr!