Up My Own Ass

Laurence Hartje just sent this one in and I don’t even know what to say to it besides a series of loud shrieks and then wondering how in the holy mother of god the spider’s body got that big.

These pictures were taken in Atheron, which is in Australia; which consequently is a place I will never visit. The spider is apparently a “Golden Orb Weaver” according to the Australian Reptile Park.

Also notice the siding in the background of the picture? Implying that this monster of the apocalypse actually lives near someone’s home? If you had a small dog, I wonder how long it would last before this spider would eat it. God knows you’d have to name it at some point… probably something like “Skittles”.

I had a hard enough time getting over these huge spiders and creepy crawlings, but they were either in far away places like Africa or spiders you already expect to be giant… none of them were this gangly looking black spider you see above with needle legs, colored joints and what must be fangs the size of freaking roofing nails.

Forgetting spiders for a minute (how is that possible?!) I could barely get over Giant African Land Snails… now we are dealing with spiders that tear birds out of mid air and eat their brains… that’s awesome. I’m going to go buy illegal pesticides and make a 3″ thick pile of it around my house now.

Thanks Telegraph.co.uk!