Up My Own Ass

Sometimes you are huge and totally ripped, and other times your chest itches and you just want to peel your skin off with a hand-rake. It really depends on the seasons and if you are allergic to cats or not.

What you see on the holy hell right there is a series of “scientific” shots of a German guy that was abusing steroids

(A) getting insane acne from it

(B) making me so fucking sick I can’t find my desk (not shown) and then 6 weeks of antibiotics resulting in life-long scars

(C) and an utter loss of all the muscle he had built up in (A)… what a waste of time.

Don’t get me wrong, I completely understand why people abuse steroids, when used properly (yes, there is actually a way to use steroids properly) the results are incredible, and if you can manage to keep the muscle on you are in for a nice treat but my god, there really is no wiggle room when it comes to keeping it on, you either keep busting your ass or say hello to flabby-town right away.

The other unforgiving thing about steroids is that not everyone’s body reacts the same to it. Some people get huge with no problems at all, others get uncontrollable aches and pains and a decent sized group having really adverse effects.

Some of the worst side effects I’ve ever seen is called Gynecomastia or “bitch tits” as they tend to get called around the gym, that just seems like a cruel joke especially when huge guys will get it… sort of kills the beach-image.

Other horrible side effects would certainly be insane-o-acne above and a few times I’ve seen guys stop using steroids for a while and get some pretty good sized guts even though their arms/chest/legs will stay pretty ripped, but for some reason their guts just bow out, like a barrel of candy… and I’ll admit wanting to hit 1 or 2 with a bat and see what happens.

You can also develop hugely mis-grown muscles like this guy (he’s a real guy, Tom-something, I forget his last name, but he was a drug-dealing hot shot that grew retardedly large arms until he got an infection in one arm from reusing a steroid needle, and tried to cut his own arm up in the bathroom to drain the puss and ended up tearing his own bicep and all this other ungodly-disgusting crap.

But one of the most common uses of steroids is creating super-cows:

… naw I’m just kidding, I just wanted to find a reason to post that. Those are actually a breed of incredible cow called the Belgian Blue Cow, I still can’t get over how big those things are.