Up My Own Ass

Remember that trip to the lake last summer? The one where you and Russel tried to figure out how to get the big ice chest AND the big card table in the mini van at the same time? It’s crazy the pain and suffering we go through in order to play cards while we are camping and drinking beer… very few people know suffering like that. Well now I approach you, as a potential lover, with a solution to your problem. Instead of trying to decide between the ice chest and card table… why not just pack 14 illegal immigrants in your car? It apparently takes up the same space:

(Thanks John Hering for the video!)

Wow… how can you complain about needing an SUV for you and your 2 kids after seeing that? I’m selling my SUV and buying a 2-seater for myself, wife, 3 kids and a dog.

The best part about the video is the knowledge that if we had just built a 2000-mile fence between Arizona and Mexico, costing us a billion dollars or more, this never would have… oh wait, yes it would have. It doesn’t matter, we should still build the wall. Historically speaking building wall is awesome and whatever problem previously existed will be bisected by said wall and immediately solved.

• Sunni and Shitte? Build a wall!
• Black people and White people? Build a wall!
• Jewish people and Palestinians? Build a wall!
• Chinese people and… the planet? Build a GREAT wall! (HA!)
• Germans who hate other Germans?! Build a wa… oh wait.

I think at some point once these liberal vaginas stop whining about human conditions, equal rights and basic economics we’ll realize that the key to success is to build a wall and then follow that up with a friendship-moat between Mexico and the US.

My idea for the friendship-moat is to dig a trench big enough to physically separate Mexico from the rest of North America. This will serve as a constant reminder that we love our neighbors to the South and want to work with them on any issues; big or small.