Up My Own Ass

ABC’s jolly little network of ‘What the hell do I do with these kids’ shows, Super Nanny, Wife Swap and Go Outside and Cut Me a Switch, has a new baby brother. It’s a show cleverly titled Super Manny and features a bald, hulky gentleman who, rather than molest or best the shit out of the kids like you’d expect, helps parents with their problems, a la Jo of Super Nanny.

You see, they’re calling him “Manny” because he’s a nanny, but a man, like Hulk Hogan in that one really good movie he did. Super Manny even has a little Bob the Builder-type construction animation to remind you of what “manny” things are. I can only assume that season two will show the manny fixing a flat tire or masturbating. Still, I find this intro a little odd since the show’s counterpart does not include an intro of Jo the nanny cooking spaghetti or putting a tampon in herself underneath that silly Men at Work song.

Other than being completely disappointed that Super Manny definitely does not star Major League slugger Manny Ramirez or former Panamanian dictator Manuel Noriega, I found the show to be incredibly redundant, especially when placed back-to-back and belly-to-belly with the original.

Sure, Mr. Manny brings new aspects to the whole nannying business with his football coaching style and dressing up like a maniac versus the Mary Poppinsesque nature of the other show’s caregiver. But how many of these shows does ABC need?

I’ll be awaiting Super Tranny, on which a transsexual shows his/her childcare skills. In the season premiere, Super Tranny visits a family of 12 who actually live in a shoe as a gang of angry, unruly Christians burn the place to the heel.

In episode two, Louise Woodward guest stars and shakes the shit out of a set of triplets.