Up My Own Ass

Seriously.  Why is there so much of it in the world?  Isn’t there a non-profit organization dedicated to the elimination of stupidity?

I have been looking forward to a specific rummage sale for several weeks now.  I had my strategy in place, my stockpile of cash, I was SET to do a little transacting.  The rummage in question is being held at a very well-known Catholic church, but after checking their website I could find no start time for said rummage.

I had my fella call to find out the start time.  4 p.m. said the little carmelite who answered the phone, “the rummage sale starts at 4 p.m.”  Thinking that was an odd start time for a rummage sale, I waited a day and placed a second call.  “Oh, you mean the white elephant sale?  Yes, that starts at 4 p.m.”  Okay, then.  4 p.m. it is.

I am writing this at 4:35 p.m.  Bless me father, for I have sinned.  I crushed the windpipe of the lady sitting at the table with the cashbox.  You see, the rummage DIDN’T start at 4 p.m…it started at 8 A.M.  Her last words were, “Yep.  We’ve been open since 8 a.m.  Half the stuff is gone!  Those ladies must have been confused.”

Confused enough to even list 4 p.m. as the start time on Craigslist.

Is it really THAT DIFFICULT to correctly answer a simple question?  How do you confuse a rummage sale with a fiesta (the event that really DOES start at 4 p.m.)?  The two phrases have no linguistic similarity.

It’s like showing up for the party of the year, just as everyone is leaving.

Maybe if the priests could stop gladhanding the altar boys for 5 minutes, somebody might know what the hell is going on…

The Lutherans throw a better rummage, anyway.