Up My Own Ass

Any story that starts out like this is going to be awesome:

BEIJING (AP) — A college student in southern China was bitten by a panda after he broke into the bear’s enclosure hoping to get a hug, state media and a park employee said Saturday.

Don’t fall for their wily woman panda ways! Or you’ll end up a TOP STORY on CNN too!!! (I LOVE the news!)

… The student was pale as he was taken away by medics but appeared clearheaded, he said.

“Yang Yang was so cute, and I just wanted to cuddle him. I didn’t expect he would attack,” the 20-year-old student, surnamed Liu, said in a local hospital, according to the official Xinhua News Agency.

DON’T BE FOOLED!!!

Stop it! Stooop it, you’re melting already! You want a panda hug, don’t you!?

Oh sure…they’re all cute and friendly…

Til they ATTACK!!!

I’m telling you, these things are VICIOUS!!!

The story goes on to say, “…Last year, a panda at the Beijing Zoo attacked a teenager, ripping chunks out of his legs, when he jumped a barrier while the bear was being fed.

The same panda was in the news in 2006 when he bit a drunk tourist who broke into his enclosure and tried to hug him while he was asleep. The tourist retaliated by biting the bear in the back.”

Lol, who DOES that?! Way to take charge of those ferocious beasts, Tourist! Show em who’s boss.