Up My Own Ass

If you can’t handle this shit… get out of the kitchen.

Actually, now that I think about it, what are you doing in the kitchen in the first place? Make me a sammich and then go relax with some vacuuming! I might let you sit at my feet while I watch TV later.

Saying you are sick of seeing the teaser posters for Rob Zombie’s upcoming movie Tyrannosaurus Rex because they seem juvenile is like saying you don’t want to go out because you are having your period and you feel sensitive… and you’re bloated… and your a guy. It sounds to me like someone needs to brush up on how to find his nut-sack.

What exactly is the downside of a movie poster that has a bearded monster, fighting dinosaurs that are on fucking fire while on a motorcycle with a woman that is half-dressed?

Oh my bad, it’s juvenile… I guess because it’s not going to win an Oscar we should just nix that one right off the list. Who cares about gore and nudity, not me… I’d rather watch a movie about feelings and forbidden love that fights societies acceptance just to be together.

That’s way better than a dude killing a dinosaur with his bear-hands and saving a chick who misplaced all her clothes… or can’t seem to find anything bigger than a napkin to wear.

Let me know when you grow a pair and we can hang out; until then I’ll probably be able to find you in the Vagina isle of Target.

Thanks Ladies!