Up My Own Ass

Well it’s official, the internet being a haven for sexually-frustrated young men that prowl Google Images for pictures of boobs, YouTube for the off-chance that someone snuck a risky video under the radar or prowling Metacafe for the hot-lesbian-make-out videos, has officially ended.

Fathers, you no longer have to worry about your daughters posting sexy-dance videos of themselves online, because the audience just isn’t there for it anymore.

Consider the following video of this young man’s girlfriend trying to enjoy a good game of Wii Fit:

Hilarity didn’t ensue… no one took a foot to the face, fell into a table or got naked.

Harmless fun, we don’t have to worry about internet perverts scouring this, watching it time after time after time after time hoping that on the 7th run through maybe she trips and her shirt flies off… or decides to strip down to nothing just incase the Wii Fit suggested it.

On the left here you see the top-posts from Digg (the social news site) today…

Clearly, the previously huge population of sexually-frustrated men on the internet has been replaced by a huge glut of lesbians.

I know, I know… I never saw it coming either, but the data is irrefutable… there are huge roving bands of lesbians on the internet, watching, rewatching, sharing and voting on half-naked girls doing stuff in web videos.

Listen, I understand, you are clearly shaken up by this. The only thing I can recommend is maybe watching the hot lesbians make out again… or maybe watch this girl hula hoop some more… she is pretty good at it, but I did notice on Frame 327 of the movie that she messed up and lost a point sooooo maybe if I rewatch this a few more times she’ll get it right?

I better yell tips at the screen just to encourage her… maybe I’ll get her some flowers… I wonder if she like tulips…

<pressing face against the screen moaning>