Up My Own Ass

If you like water slides and also like shitting on yourself you are going to get a kick out of Germany’s new Shitstorm Diarrhea Fountain (loose translation… my German is rusty) water slide.

The slide starts off with a free-fall drop as a trap door breaks out from under your feet, giving you the perfect opportunity to gasp, squeeze your ass-cheeks together as hard as possible and heart beat to increase to 211 bpm.

From the free-fall you will slide into a gentle up-ward facing loop-de-loop, giving your back and buttocks support, which is the perfect opportunity to shit everywhere… keeping in mind that anything and everything will be streaking up your back and into your hair and face.

After straightening out, you are slid full-speed into a gentle water-catch that will slow you down, crushing your bathing suit up into your genitals; destroying any self control you had up until that point and possibly giving you a prolapsed colon as a parting gift.

When you consider that this all happens in less than 10 seconds, you really have to respect that world-renound German engineering.

Thanks John Hering!