Tag Archive | "children"
Booster Shots
I’ve really just about had my fill of being a “booster parent.” Ever since my children were young, I swore that I would be the mom that was always at every function, cheering on my children, very much the OPPOSITE of how my parents did me…they didn’t even take pictures at my high school graduation, but [...]
Continue reading...7 Year Old On Drugs After the Dentist
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
This is just hilarious… a 7-year-old meets painkillers after his surgery at the dentist and is his first time ripped out of his mind, it’s like he’s drunk but also high — poor little guy: Thanks to Rachel for this one!
Continue reading...Boy… and We Thought Schools Were Strict in Our Day
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
My friends and I used to get a kick out of passing notes, throwing spitballs, and crafting masterful paper airplanes to sail at the back of the teacher’s head. Worst case scenario, we missed a recess if we got caught, but it was oh so worthwhile. In the age of school shootings and stabbings and drug [...]
Continue reading...Simply Having a Wonderful Christmastime…
Sunday, November 16, 2008
It started out innocently enough. I was listening to Christmas music, allowing myself a modicum of giddiness that Christmas is on its way. It just isn’t Christmas in my world if I can’t hear Elton inviting us to “step into Christmas” or Bono reminding us “tonight, thank God it’s them instead of you!” I madeth a joyful [...]
Continue reading...Please Don’t Litter!!!!
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Honestly, I blame the McCaugheys. You remember… Kenny and Bobbi McCaughey and their septuplets. Fucking SEPTUPLETS. The drill is always the same. “We couldn’t have babies, so we prayed about it and God blessed us with all these wonderful babies and promised to take care of all of us!!!” My question is this: Why weren’t you listening [...]
Continue reading...Smashing Pumpkins
Monday, October 27, 2008
I love Halloween. I love pumpkins. So, it was a no-brainer that I volunteer us to chaperon on a field trip to a pumpkin patch for our son’s 5th grade class. Then I remembered that I hate other people’s kids. I don’t know WHY I can’t retain that vital piece of information, but I am forever distracted [...]
Continue reading...From the Brilliant Parenting Files… File #3
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
The first line of the story says it all: STEVENSVILLE, Montana (AP) — About 90 elementary school students in Montana have started a series of rabies shots after a parent let them touch a dead bat that was later confirmed to be diseased. But really, to get the full effect, you have to keep reading: The mother of [...]
Continue reading...From the “Brilliant Parenting” files… File #2
Friday, September 26, 2008
Wow parenting just gets better and better these days! Now, if you make a mistake – or nine of them – Nebraskan law says you can just click “cancel” and call it a day! I can see it: Hi honey, how was your day? Fine snookums. I got tired of changing diapers for Billy, Samantha was giving [...]
Continue reading...From the “Brilliant Parenting” files…
Thursday, September 25, 2008
I’ll never understand why we have to pass tests to get past first grade, get a driver’s license, or get into eharmony.com, but to bring a child (or twenty) into the world? Nothin. We live in a world of creating stockpiles of band-aids to fix our severed limbs as a society. What ever happened to “an [...]
Continue reading...Cannibals are Family-Oriented Too!
Monday, August 4, 2008
Q: What happens when a family of cannibals move to subrbia? A: Awesome license plates! Thanks Jens Eckels!
Continue reading...Hating Your Children Has Never Been Funnier
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
In the off-chance that having your children ruined your life (or maybe just your body) you could also play the passive-aggressive card and get them a costume that tells the world: “If I forgot him in a cart at Costco, good-riddance”. My personal favorite was the “Shit Head” costume… it says so much, with so little [...]
Continue reading...Polls
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Monday, September 28, 2009
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