Up My Own Ass

From the Brilliant Parenting Files…File #4

I love reading how cracked out parents can be. I dunno, I mean call me old fashioned but I’ve just always associated the idea of “Parent” as synonymous with those silly things like “responsible”, “upstanding”, “role model”. Even “intelligent”. But with every new day, a new file is dropped on my desk in this series [...]

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Epic Fail or My Reputation Has Obviously Preceded Me

I’ve been playing video games since I was a kid, back in the 80’s heyday of the arcades. I played them as much as I could and after having the knock-off specialist Texas Instruments system during those days, I have gone out of my way to own the systems that I want. After the N64 [...]

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Tyra Discovers Teens are Having Sex

A recent Tyra Banks Show/CNN poll revealed that teens are having sex. Lots of sex. Girls are losing their virginity by age 15 and are even doing it at school. And Tyra, the silly goose, is shocked. The nitwit who wore a fat suit to try to understand what obese people go through, now realizes [...]

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Chode to Joy!

This is not an article about Cameron Diaz.  I just couldn’t really post any of the images that Google was suggesting for the word “chode.”  I decided that since I think Cameron Diaz is the nastiest, skankiest, infection-filled twat in current pop culture, I would use HER image as the tie-in photo, but I digress. Let’s [...]

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Quick Reference: Things to Say During Sex

Incase you find yourself out of ideas in the bedroom, or out of ways to get your partner to call the police on you, Marc Chung just sent in a quick reference that we can print out and leave next to the bed: (Click for a bigger version)

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How Can Your Doctor Tell You Haven’t Had Sex in a While?

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My Face Vomits When I’m Unhappy… Ugly Celebrity Sex Tapes

So a “sex tape” of Verne Troyer (Mini-me) and his girlfriend Ranae Shrider got leaked to the internet… because for some reason, recording a sex-tape immediately gives the people that are involved, the inability to hold onto anything private and immediately share it with the world. Why is that? That’s like having a friend that you [...]

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John Mayer is an Amazing Lover – Like Me

Well word on the street is that John Mayer is apparently quite the amazing lover. Sources close to Jennifer Aniston (Mayer’s new flame) are saying that Aniston can’t stop smiling because she is getting “good homegrown dick”* from the rock-star. * This is a quote from me; I quote myself… I’m that important. Apparently Mayer likes to get [...]

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