Up My Own Ass

The recent disaster on Wall Street has started bleeding not only to Main Street, but to Sesame Street as well, as every home on the block, from Oscar the Grouch’s trash can to Big Bird’s nest, has been forclosed upon. With this having now hit Sesame Street and Avenue Q, both neighborhoods are littered with puppet carcasses, all of them having leaped to their deaths. Volunteers will be cleaning up the mess all weekend in the worst puppet catastrophe since the folding of Pets.com.

But it spreads even farther. They are no longer rocking down to Electric Avenue as that street has also been hit by this fiscal tragedy. Here taxpayers are working so hard like a soldier, yet they can’t afford a thing on TV. Nor can they get food for them kid. Good God.

The nightmare has even gone to Elm Street, though some, like local menace Freddy Kruger, are still optimistic.

“People still gotta sleep,” Kruger said. “You can’t forclose on the ole Z’s (maniacal laughter).”

Experts are warning that the shit won’t end at Main Street or Sesame Street. Places like Mockingbird Lane, Sentimental Street, Lakeview Terrace, Badstreet USA, and even Jump Street should all prepare for the worst.