Up My Own Ass

A recent Tyra Banks Show/CNN poll revealed that teens are having sex. Lots of sex. Girls are losing their virginity by age 15 and are even doing it at school. And Tyra, the silly goose, is shocked. The nitwit who wore a fat suit to try to understand what obese people go through, now realizes that teens are banging.

I could think of a lot of other things Tyra should be a bit more shocked at, like that her stupid show is still on the air or that by now most men would rather fuck Ernie Banks than Tyra Banks.

Hasn’t she ever watched Dateline NBC?

While fending off the teachers, neighbors and online predators who want to foul them, these girls also have to decide whether to give it up to the boys their own age, or else be called a prude. Or worse - not called at all. It’s hard being a teenage girl. Other news stories have shown us that teen boys can get sex either from their female teachers or their high school football team. It’s competitive out there.

And, Tyra, every news station in the country has done this story. Go into hiding with Kim Alexis and Cheryl Tiegs. Please.

Let’s stop treating these teens like children. In Arizona there’s a 12-year-old who shot and killed one of his parents. He could be tried as an adult. In Tucson, one of the news stations refers to high school football as “bone crunching action.”

Bone crunching! These are kids! Get a pro sports team, you blood-thirsty desert hayseeds!

If kids can have adults watch them crunch each others bones, they can certainly jump said bones in the bathroom during lunch period.

Here’s one that really gets me - That abysmal show Dancing with the Stars has a segment on which little kids - a boy and a girl - dance together. After all the talk about how sexy the adults are dancing, and how hot it was, whose frigging idea was it to have children performing those same dances? Who’s the pederast at ABC who thought - Yeah, I’d like to see a couple of eight-year-olds sweating like those two are. That’d be sexy! Get me the third grade equivalent of Julianne Huff immediately!

Try watching it. It’s JonBenet creepy.