Up My Own Ass

If you’ve forgotten, or were just sleeping through, Part 1 and Part 2 of my visit to my dear mother in Bordertown, Idaho, you may or may not have realized or cared that those were but two installments of what was to be a trilogy.

If you didn’t make the connection, that’s ok, I was never much of a math person either, and if you didn’t care, well screw you, I hope you choke on a turkey bone. I’m doing the third part anyway.

The reason I didn’t include the end-cap to my mini-series reflection the amusement that was a visit to a small town for me was because the county fair and the street signs were literally all there were in that tiny Mayville place the true impact of the experience needed some time to sink in, once I was back stationed firmly in front of my computer, bleary-eyed, breathing smog, and cursing the fools who cut me off anytime I have to go somewhere in my tank with my 1-800-EAT-SHIT bumper sticker.

It was roundabouts when Dear Mother called me, sent me an email, IM’d me, and sent me a telegram (did you know those things even existed anymore?!) because she had THAT much to keep her busy in Bordertown, to alert me to the evening’s big news in town:

Wait for it…

Yes really a goat. Shot from multiple angles, thank you. And he’s got a full-length story.

Mountain goat breaks glass door to home

ATHOL, Idaho. – Around noon Thursday, the Timberlake Fire Protection District responded to a home in Athol on the report that a deer had broken a window and was possibly in the home. When they arrived on scene, they found an animal had indeed broken a window but it was no deer.

Crews instead discovered the homeowner unharmed and a mountain goat on the back porch.

The goat had ripped off the screen and was charging the glass door, breaking the outer pane of glass, possibly angry from seeing its own reflection in the glass.  The goat was calm while crews were on scene and stood on the back porch, but would not leave.

A Kootenai County Sheriff Deputy also assisted, he cracked open the sliding door and slightly nudged the goat from inside the home with a stick which persuaded the goat to wander back into the adjacent woods.

And. AND!!! Film coverage on the evening news.

So the moral of the story and the Small-Town Experience is… I have long come and gone from Small-Town Idaho. A lot has changed in the world since then. We’ve got a black President, for god’s sake. We had SLAVERY three generations ago, and major segregation only 50 some years ago. Back in September the big news was Elephant Ears at the County Fair. Today it’s a goat who attacks his own reflection and stands on the porch while reporters take his picture for the paper – from several angles.

This time next year?

Well that county fair does come every year… I’m willing to wager a guess what the headlines will be.